


Stardust

by pretty0dd_semisweet



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Really cute, Talking about stars and space, angel!cas - Freeform, cas feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:35:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretty0dd_semisweet/pseuds/pretty0dd_semisweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean spend an evening outside watching the stars. They happen to start a conversation about space and how everything was created, leading to talking of realizations Castiel has had while walking the earth for quite a while now. In the end it gets very emotional.</p><p>This is a very cute Story, it's personally one of the best I've ever written I think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stardust

**Author's Note:**

> I checked the spelling now, guys.  
> I hope you enjoy this Story, I wrote it at 1 am after I read something in a science Magazine and the idea immediately rushed into my mind, so here you have it.

They were sitting in the garden, looking up to the dark night sky, only a few stars illuminating the deep blue firmament in the late hours of long night after an even longer day.

It was still warm outside, the air vibrating with noises of crickets and the flattering of wings of moths. The two men were sitting on the steps of a front porch, the old house dark and empty behind them.  
It was forecasted that there should be some shooting star showers but so far they hadn't seen a single one pass by.

They sat in silence.

Eventually one of them dropped his gaze and looked over to the man that was sitting right next to him, close, closer than he had thought. He examined the other mans face, slowly, carefully. He watched the dark patterns that the shadows painted on his face, the way the other mans head was slightly tilted, his mouth slightly opened. He examined his frame, his full lips, his piercing blue eyes, a frown on his face. He looked thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking about Cas?"

Dean leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees. He gave the angel next to him a small smile, symbolizing him to speak. Castiel breathed in and out again, the air being released from his lungs painfully slowly. Sometimes Dean found himself wondering if the angel only breathed because he actually wanted to or if he kind of needed to. Although he didn't need to eat or sleep, he may needed this simply task, this reflex, just to show him that even him, an angel of The Lord, had boundaries, just to show him that he wasn't that much different to the people walking the earth. Ignoring the higher purpose, it still was mesmerizing to watch the angel breath. He did it with such a lightness, like there wasn't any burden placed on his shoulders, like he hadn't fought fights people couldn't even dream of, his breathing was steady and calming, at least that was what Dean thought as he watched him.

"I was thinking about the stars, Dean."

The angel had now rested his gaze on the other man, his head slightly tilted, a pervasive look in his eyes.

"What exactly?

Well, did you know we were all made out of stardust?"

Cas raised his gaze up to the sky again, following the lights of the stars.

"Hmm?"

"When the Big Bang happened 13.7 billion years ago, millions of protons and neutrons collided with antiprotons and antineutrons, and only a tiny bit of matter was left. About two minutes after that the temperature sank to 1 billion degree Celsius and out of the the particles that were left behind the first hydrogencores were made. Actually electrons were added about 380000 years later and made them complete atoms. Anyway, the point is that stars can't produce hydrogen, so all of the 9.5 per cent of hydrogen that is the total amount that appears in our body was made by the big bang. We're children of the big bang, we are made out of stardust."

Dean remained quiet for a while, his eyes locked onto the other mans lips while he was taking, the fluent motion of them paralyzing him. It seemed quite hard to grasp for him, he'd never really thought about how all of this was made, how we were made. It had surely occurred him that there were atoms and such but he'd never been able to grasp that they were built up out of those small particles, creating something whole as for example a human being, a living and breathing creature. Trying to comprehend what the angel had said, it seemed quite unusual to hear something like this from an angel of The Lord, considering the version of the creation of earth that the bible has taught the Christians.

"Do you believe in that?"

Deans voice sounded a bit raspy, he smiled when he thought how often he'd heard Castiels voice sound this way, somehow it always sent shivers down his spine.

"Do you believe that we were created this way? That we are made out if particles that were created during the Big Bang? I mean the bible..." Deans words were interrupted by the laughing angel, his laughter floating through the air, filling the gap between them and suddenly Dean felt a bit lonely in the warm summer night, he felt a bit lost.

"Why are you laughing?"

He asked, hurt swinging in his voice.  
Castiel slowly turned his head around to face him, a smile displayed on his full, pink lips.

"I was laughing because..." He closed his eyes and smiled harder for a moment before continuing. " because I find it quite funny how you ask me, an angel that has rebelled, an angel that is hunted by other angel, his family, if I have different views than the majority."

" I didn't mean to..." Dean tried but Cas just waved him off.

"No it's fine Dean. Actually, the longer I think about it, the more complex and interesting it appears to be. Personally, I find it rather disturbing to see people being forced to have one manufactured believe. Isn't believe something personal? Even though we might share the same views on some things, we'll never agree on everything. Anything. I don't think it is possible. So, since we know of this impossibility, it is rather painful to see it forced upon people. I know how much damage it can do, I do know that. The bible is a work created by humans. It is not flawless, Dean."

Dean stayed quiet for a while. He couldn't remember ever having such an intense conversation with anyone but Sam. At the same time, it felt wrongly right.

"So, do you believe that we are made out of stardust? Do you, personally, believe this?"  
Cas smiled again, his eyes staring into the sky.

"I know, that it must be this way Dean. I know it. But knowledge doesn't equal believe, it doesn't equal faith. I have walked this world for quite a while now, and it hasn't been too bad. I have left the path that was made for me, I have left the safety that I could've had. But now, at least in can say I stand for something. We stand for something Dean. I'm not a mere existence of a celestial being anymore, I'm living. I'm an angel, still, but I've learnt a lot. No doubt, the human way of feeling is still quite mysterious and hard to grasp but I'd rather keep trying to understand it than going up there without having learnt something as essential as this."

He sighed, eyes wandering to meet Deans.

"Still, I think it's kind of hard to believe all of this is just chemicals. You see, I have the knowledge, that it must be only atoms and molecules and such, but I have the believe, that there must be more to it."

Dean frowned. The angel had changed during the months, years they'd spent together. They've grown quite fond of each other, as the angel would say they shared " a more profound bond".

Still, it seemed weird to hear him talk like that. Castiel took Deans silence as an accepting silence, so he continued his speech.

"Lately, those chemicals, those feelings, have started to somehow overwhelm me. I couldn't describe it differently, they appeared to be waves clashing over my head and drowning me in those oceans of reactions and hormones. It was weird at first but after some time, I started to appreciate it, Dean."

  
The angel leant a bit closer now and the other mans heart started to beat in his chest heavily. It somehow excited him how close they were, the thought of being just inches away from this heavenly being. It had been a while now that Dean had accepted that he had feelings for the angel, though the acceptance hadn't led to any further changes in their relationship.

Obviously, the angel had showed more affection towards him than anyone else, but he was still an angel.

Until now, it had never occurred to him that the angel had actually developed such a wide range of emotions or even had only put thought into them at all.

It was the majestic appearance, the strength and power that had been displayed the day they met that had impressed him, but it was the change that he had gone through that had left him in awe.  
As the angel leaned closer now, Dean didn't push him away like before, all the times they'd been so close, all those times he'd held back what he felt. He was tired of being restricted by is own mind, tired of hiding inside his shell, inside the walls that he had built up to protect him from getting hurt.

He leaned closer now, too, pushing aside all the boundaries he had built up himself.

As their lips were almost touching he could barely hear the angel whisper.

"As much as I like to believe that we are made out of stardust, I can't believe all of this is just chemicals."

When their lips touched, a single shooting star crossed the sky above them, unnoticed.


End file.
